Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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