please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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