Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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