I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
