Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
