hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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