she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
