Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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