I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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