We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
