she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
