so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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