I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
These tits shall not be calmed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize