it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
