Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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