Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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