How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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