it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
