What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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