So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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