he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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