do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
