Got a toothbrush?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There r osticjed everywhere
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize