I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
