i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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