I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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