It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
