Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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