it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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