And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
