alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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