lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
