Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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