We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
