Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
