So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
