are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
