evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So much rum. So many feels.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
