I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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