I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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