I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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