Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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