Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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