Whatcha textin bout Willis?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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