you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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