wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
