For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
