gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
