dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
