when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
