Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
