hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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