I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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