I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
