UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
