just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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