i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
