i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
