my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
