I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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