I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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