Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize